The Apocrypha
by Biotomegami Lyanvis
Summary: The end to all things beautiful, the beginning of the darkness beyond. -character death, violence, graphicness, written for Malaya-
1. Sasuke Apocrypha

Sasuke's Apocrypha.

* * *

Those who believe in death as the end know nothing about life.

* * *

Before the darkness, the pain had come.

It was so great and shocking a pain, that one of the few coherent thoughts he had was that the greatest astonishment of all was that he had survived it. The feel of teeth sinking into his skin, Then the pain had come out of nowhere, seizing both body and mind in a grip as strong as spider silk. (He ought to know. He had tried his best to break it. Tried and failed, repeatedly.)

It had been beautiful. That was the most terrible thing of all.

It had been filled with colors, that pain, so bright and shining that they had blinded him. Then darkness had come. But not before the colors of that pain had incapacitated him, wreaking their havoc along every separate nerve ending in his body, seeking them out, as if the pain itself was a creature with sentiency that far surpassed his own, as though it coursed through his blood like his overwhelming hatred. In the darkness, he had time, however. Time that was given to him by trapping him in this beautiful and terrible place.

In the darkness, the pain receded. A lesser pain, a greater pain, the pain of memories replaced it. He struck out mentally, fighting to free himself of this cage. And soon enough, the pain was back. Great, rolling waves of it, so strong, he felt as if it would tear him apart. His head pounded with the effort to keep it clear. Lights as bright as torches danced before his eyes. Nausea, thick and choking, clogged his throat.

He reveled in it all.

The pain was glorious. The pain was beautiful in an entirely different way from how it had been before. Then it had signaled his imprisonment. Now, it was the harbinger of his release- and of his revenge. He could feel his body spasm; feel a cry rise up from his chest, sharp and piercing as a knife. He kept his voice to himself, wrapping his arms around his body and hugging the pain to him like a long lost child.

He loved this pain. It was proof he had won.

His eyes landed on his teammate, Sakura, the damage done to her, and he stood up. He could feel it racing through his veins, the power of that pain. It was stronger than the most potent drug, more intoxicating than the finest wine, and it seared him from the inside out, cleansing like fire. Almost, what he felt now made up for all that had come before it. Here was power beyond all reckoning. Finally, he would have his revenge. Just the thought of it made his hands want to tremble.

_No! I will not give in to weakness, not even the weakness of my own desire._ Instead, he willed his hands to steady, strengthening his hold on his resolve. Slowly, carefully, he controlled his voice enough to turn to Sakura.

"Who did that to you?" He demanded. He was moving again before his ears really registered anything, moving Naruto and Sakura away from the blast zone. He was moving again, his foot planted firmly on the chuunin's back, twisting and breaking his arms. His mind filled with thoughts of torture, blood and pain.

_Blood. So beautiful is this elixir of life, still warm as it flows through him with the beat of his heart…_ Sasuke could hear the flow of the blood in the arms he held then released.

He hated Sakura!!

Despite himself, with her embrace, he could feel the curse mark recede. The power screaming in his veins lessened. He could feel his mind go blank, and then fill with one overwhelming thought.

It was not enough. It would never be enough.

He needed more.


	2. Jiraiya Apocrypha

Jiraya Apocrypha.

* * *

Who so believes that the end comes with death knows everything there is to know about their own life and nothing about living.

* * *

Her voice sounded like it was like it was designed specifically for muttering in a language unknown to him, which sounded like nothing he had ever heard before. The words poured out of her mouth, thick and viscous, the color and consistency of blood. They curled out like scythes, dark and red and merciless, twisting and twirling in an unseen wind. They made complicated swirls in the air, and then drifted gently towards him, cold viscous tendrils sliding across his skin, examining him. Tendrils wafted through the air, caressing his face with an alien sentience that should have scared him, the cold viscous fluid that was at once air made solid and light made liquid. Her dark hair obscured her face slightly. She turned and pointed at him. An eerie smile slid across her face, one that told him he didn't want to understand the words crawling from her lips. The tendrils caressed his skin like hands. A warm liquid trickled from his head, dripping down into his eyes. On his left, he saw a mirror that reflected him alone. His face seemed unnaturally pale with the contrast of the darkness that enveloped him, continuing to stroke his body. His gray hair was coated in blood that constantly dripped into his face. He reached out, slowly, to touch the mirror and it shattered into dust, floating down like silver motes. He vaguely realized his action had caused him pain in the form of glass shards embedded in his fingertips, but he could not summon the energy to care. Nothing was accessible to him, not memories… not even his name. Nothing else existed save the girl before him, the cold on his flesh, the warmth of the blood, and what had just happened…. What he had just caused to happen. The male on his right didn't exist... nothing existed... not anything at all...

"What... is she?" He asked breathlessly. Orochimaru smiled mysteriously.

"Some label her a fey enigma." he said softly "others claim she is an elf, a faerie or an angel. But all those things are fey enigmas." He added as an after thought, "Her previous owner thought her a succubus." his laughter was soft. "Can't say I blame him..."

"She's beautiful…" Jiraya whispered, reaching out for the girl's hand. The blood that trickled down his face seemed to disappear.

"Do you want her, comrade?" Orochimaru whispered to his teammate, And Jiraya nodded slowly. Orochimaru's smile grew dark. "Then, let's make a deal, shall we?"

Later, Jiraya could not remember what he had agreed to, but he knew it was not worth what he had gotten from the woman. Peace, serenity, and a burning desire to write books that-of course- dealt with his favorite subject. Jiraya laid his head back in the woman's lap. She never touched him with anything but her darkness. He never touched her in the manner that he desired to touch other women. He called her his muse, allowing no person other than Orochimaru to ever see her. She was only with him for a short while, an ephemerally short time, as fragile as the gossamer wings of a fly. And one afternoon, she simply faded away, as endlessly, her last words stayed within his mind.

_Live for today, for tomorrow never comes…_ He made her words into books.

Years later, Jiraya met a boy named Naruto, and somehow he could feel that his former teammate would hurt the child grievously.

He was not wrong.


	3. Sakura Apocrypha

Sakura Apocrypha.

* * *

Those who live life afraid of death have never lived at all.

* * *

Viridian eyes cast to a sky gone velvety black with the darkness of night. Stars pierced the veil like bright rays of dreams from the world beyond. Her body shivered from cold but she did not reach for the blanket beside her, or the warm body underneath it. On clear nights like these, the full moon had an eerie look to it. It made her remember a time, long ago, when her heart still fancied itself in love with a certain raven-haired teammate of hers. Now, there was no one. She thought of Orochimaru and his new red/black eyes and wish-it-wasn't-familiar smirk, and did not have to harden her heart against the tears, because they never came. She had thought it was her heart that did this to her, made her able to track Sasuke like an Uchiha homing beacon. Much later, she had realized that her excellent chakra control had created a tether between herself and all of her teammates, not just Sasuke. It took her even longer to figure out how to use it, and longer than that to know for sure that Sasuke- that Orochimaru knew it was there. Science knocked love away with the same ferocity as the clash of two kunai in the grip of pure enemies, giving her cold hard facts to work with and nothing else. Sasuke did not exist anymore. She felt a tug on the tether that was now her connection to Orochimaru. She stood, wrapping her arms around herself and walked away from where Sai and Naruto slept. Instead of walking towards him, she walked towards a stream, as though she hadn't registered it, hadn't noticed that he was nearby.

"Hello, Sakura-Chan..." Near the stream, hands wrapped around her waist, and whispering filled her ear. She pretended confusion.

"Sai? I thought you were sleep- Sasuke-kun!" she allowed her eyes to go wide with surprise as when she turned around to look. Orochimaru laughed softly as she turned in his grip and hugged him tightly. "Sasuke-kun, I was afraid you would never come back to us…" She bit her lower lip and looked up at him through pink lashes. She had to time this, just right…

"I'm here, Sakura." Sasuke's familiar voice reassured her before those eyes became filled with the Sharingan. Sakura tilted her head back to look into those eyes before his lips teased her own. "Sakura-chan, do you love me?" Sakura only nodded as his breath ghosted over her lips. She didn't bother to try and hide the shiver from his nearness. Her chakra slowly formed a sword behind his back. It was harder when she could only form the seals in her mind, but she had practiced it enough, that it should work.

The sword went through his heart, through her breast painfully, but she did not cry out. Nor, she noticed, did he. He stepped back, and, like a phantom, went through her arm. Her eyes widened, and then narrowed as she fell to the ground, eyes closing entirely.

_I fell for a genjutsu…_ she thought, as her lifeblood lay pouring out of her wound. It explained why she couldn't even scream with whatever oxygen was left in her blood-filled lungs.

Naruto did the screaming for her, later.

Sai felt sadness for the first time, later.

In death, Sakura was free. For her, there was no later.


	4. Kakashi Apocrypha

Kakashi Apocrypha.

* * *

Him that believes death is the final step in the journey of life knows nothing of the reality of living.

* * *

He couldn't meet Naruto's eyes when it had all ended..

"It isn't /fair!/" The Kyuubi host claimed, and Kakashi shook his head.

"Life isn't fair, Naruto."

_Why did they teach the ninja about fairness? It did not exist in the world they lived in. Why do we let them grow up thinking life should be fair? When did anyone ever tell them- tell any of us that it would be?_ Who _told us that it should be? Life is never fair, and finding that out… It hurts more than a lie…_

"Don't leave me, Kakashi!!" Naruto demanded irrationally. "You're the only one left!!" Naruto slumped over Kakashi's body. Kakashi could feel the slow drain of the void. He'd over exerted his chakra. Sai had died in the battle. Naruto had torn through the rest of the sound village but Sasuke- no-longer-Sasuke, Orochimaru, had been nowhere to be found. And Naruto was helpless against this foe, against the one called death. Kakashi felt the warm weight of Naruto on his chest, the wetness of tears. His voice cracked from exhaustion.

"I'm not dying. Just going to sleep…" He tried to lie, but Naruto jerked up and forced him to meet his eyes.

"No!! You're not allowed to sleep!!" Naruto screamed at him, taking Kakashi up into his arms. Naruto talked, and talked, and talked, shaking Kakashi every time his eyes closed for longer than a blink. Finally, Kakashi lifted his hand to his mask and pulled it down. Naruto's eyes fixed on his face. "You're not leaving me." He whispered, hugging his sensei- who felt so fragile in his arms, so impossibly weak… Kakashi barely managed to nod.

"This is not goodbye." Kakashi managed. He never believed in an afterlife, but for Naruto's sake…

"I'll see you soon." Naruto finally agreed, letting Kakashi close his eyes. Naruto heard his heartbeats fade away, and then, then he truly began to cry. Kakashi's was the only body that Naruto carried back to Konoha from the deserted sound village. Others had to retrieve Sai because no one could convince Naruto to let his beautiful sensei go.


	5. Tsunade Apocrypha

Tsunade Apocrypha.

* * *

Those who believe death is the end limit themselves to one circle of living.

* * *

Tears of rage blinded her. Her body had given out on this godforsaken stretch of no-man's land. The constant use of chakra to defend her had drained her more than she'd anticipated. Maybe she could rest a moment- No! Her eyes snapped back wide open. If she let herself sleep, she could fall into a coma or die, as Kakashi had, not too long ago. She tried to get up, but only managed to turn over and she groaned in frustration. She looked back up to the sky and thought.

_Well, there is no black eating at the edges of my vision, so it's probably only minor chakra exhaustion._

Something scaly crawled up her leg and she stiffened in momentary surprise, before letting her body relax. Okay, so it was a snake. That didn't mean that it was poisonous, or even Orochimaru's. But when a second, then a third of the creatures began to crawl over her, she was hard pressed to keep from screaming.

_Not again… oh god, not again,_ Tsunade prayed, reaching out to whatever god that was within range of hearing. A light weight settled on her stomach as a shadow over took her.

"Tired, Tsu-chan?" came a light, airy, silk-filled voice, and Sasuke- but not really Sasuke, Orochimaru with Sasuke's face, Sasuke's body- leaned over her. Fingertips brushed a stray strand of blonde hair from her face as lips quirked into a wish-it-wasn't-familiar smirk, and then traveled down, to one perfectly rounded breast. She turned her eyes away from the monster before her.

"Yes." She responded truthfully, because lying would serve no purpose. She let her eyes close as he shifted her clothing to allow him access to her breast.

A mouth covered her nipple, teeth sunk painfully into her flesh, and she knew no more.


	6. Naruto Apocrypha

Naruto Apocrypha.

* * *

That which believes there is a need to fear death as an end to itself knows naught but itself and understands nothing.

* * *

The blonde closed his eyes and accepted death in the instant before it came. Naruto would never live to the next day. And that acceptance is what froze Orochimaru's arm, an instant before the chidori struck. Naruto's eyes snapped open when he heard the twittering sound of birds die. For an instant, he could see Sasuke behind Orochimaru's eyes, struggling to reassert control, and he did the only thing he could think of to free Sasuke.

He slammed his fist through his chest. Claws extended and crushed the beating thing in not-Sasuke's chest that used to be Sasuke's heart. Naruto would never become Hokage.

And Sasuke's weak voice though he shouldn't be able to talk.

"Thanks… moron." Sasuke's eyes closed, and Naruto slumped over the body of his dead comrade and cried.

Naruto never became Hokage.

Instead, he served the village as best he could. And when it was requested of him to become Hokage, he refused.

"Don't put me in charge of the village. I couldn't even save my team." Naruto told them, walking away.

_I couldn't save anyone._


	7. The END

_The Apocrypha_

* * *

Because there comes a time when all good things must come to an end, and where all lives are changed, stained or irrevocably lost. The apocrypha of an individual's life is often -but not always- death.

* * *

I know, I know. Bad form to have a full page as your author's note, but I'm making up for it by this being the only author's note I write. This story was written as a request from Malaya. Each chapter is successively shorter than the one before it, as per request. Each story is meant to signify a moment in a person's life when either everything changes for them, or they die. This whole story is dark. It wasn't intended to be, at first, but I guess I've just been in a dark mood recently. Rape, and pillage and blood… regardless of that, I must admit that I have been lagging behind in my requests- strange that people send me the requests through email and don't give me them as reviews, but whatever, right? I had been stuck on this story for months as it had been a much lighter story in the beginning, but after reading Novocaine's _Vicious Circles Make You Laugh_ story, I threw out the first few drafts of this and started anew. Typing like a dervish, I might add. I got all six chapters and this foreword finished in two days. For a story I actually liked the end result of, that's not bad.

I must admit to being one of those writers who tries to write through writer's block. But this story just ran aground. Nothing I did sounded or felt right to me, and it made no sense at all to try and continue. So I put it aside and worked on _The Oracle, To Kill the Pain,_ The Itachi/Orochimaru story that I can't remember the title to currently, and on _The Little Book Of Poetry_ instead. But I finally did it, and here it is. The Jiraya chapter was actually more inspired by _Pet Shop of Horrors_ than by Novocaine's work.

I actually wrote the Sakura Chapter first, but the Naruto chapter is my favorite. I think the next thing I'm going to write is a Bad!Fic placed in some random world that I'll use a random number generator to pick. I need a break from all this darkness that keeps seeping into my work, just for a little while. It's actually making me start to feel a little suicidal. But suicide is a sad, sad thing that I don't have the cowardice to do. No, I'll just keep living, and one day, I'll just burn out in a flurry of black rose petals and disappear forever, never having reached any of my dreams. laughs and isn't that just the way of the world? I'm just another drone who tried to break the mold and failed pretty damn miserably. Anyway, this is getting depressing again, so,

There once was a man with a flute,  
Who tutored two tutors to toot.  
Said the tutee to the tooter:  
Is it simpler to toot,  
Or to tutor two tutors to toot?

It's a fun little not-quite limerick that my stepdad used to say pretty often, and it always used to make me laugh. I hope you enjoy it, was well as the stories to come.

Ciao,  
Lyanvis.


End file.
